big heart, big voice, big steve
i met steve ball through friends years ago, during a time when new friends were rapidly adding to the list of people i was grateful to cross paths with in slippery rock. he was a vocal major whose talent and skill exceeded my own. i had the pleasure of sharing the stage with him a couple of times, and always felt so inspired by the depth of his soul, which came through clearly and powerfully when he performed. the strength of his soul was not limited to his singing; the man exuded warmth, light, joy, an uplifting energy that was contagious.
i cannot imagine the pain that his fiancee and family are coping with right now. and it felt selfish to post too much about my own feelings online, because i was not as close with him as other people were. but to deal with my own grief, i've been sifting through memories of the times i got to share in his presence. i remember once i had asked him about getting a degree in voice. i was considering going back to school for a master's, and thought maybe i should pursue that passion. he told me that i didn't need training, because my raw talent would only be impeded by training. that was such a compliment to me, since i considered his talent so superior to my own.
alicia tagged me in a comment beneath a video of one of steve's performances at the brewery. she said if i hadn't watched it to make sure i watched the whole thing. the video featured steve, chris brown, rob, and a couple other musicians doing the stones' "you can't always get what you want." they had the slippery rock choir do the opening bit, then steve's soulful voice more than did justice to mick jagger. at the very end of the video, steve thanked me. i had done a couple songs while he took a short break. he joked that he had to use the choir because he was scared to death to follow me. again--his compliment simply felt too great. i was humbled by his abilities, and simply grateful that he'd asked me to participate at all!
i texted rob a bit ago to say that i'd be interested in doing a memorial gig in steve's honor. to my surprise, there was already such an event planned for tomorrow, from 1-5 at the brewery, where so many people had the chance to experience steve's amazing presence. i have to work at 2:15, but am planning to go at 1 so that i can be with others who are dealing with the sense of loss. when jake called to tell me yesterday that steve had died, i didn't know how to respond. there's this numbness that kicks in sometimes when i hear of someone's passing as if my brain can't initially process what has happened. it was today, as i made my coffee and looked on facebook at the numerous posts about steve that the tears came. i had to stop what i was doing and just let them out. last night, as i was falling asleep, i thought about steve's soul making rounds to visit the friends and loved ones he'd be leaving behind. tina had jumped off the couch, and i wanted her to come back, so i started singing "dream a little dream of me" like i usually do when i am trying to lure her to me. she didn't come because she was preoccupied with a mouse sneaking around under my desk, so i ended up making it the whole way through the song. with my eyes closed, lying in the darkness of my living room, i hoped that steve had heard the song and knew that i was thinking of him. knew how much he would be missed. knew what an impact he'd had on all the lives he had touched.
when someone leaves us too soon, it's hard to say goodbye. the person is gone, their soul at peace, free of the burdens of life. but steve was engaged to be married. he was just beginning yet another new chapter in his life. so again, i cannot imagine the depth of grief the people who were closest to him are experiencing.
i hope that some day i have developed the ability to do with my voice what steve did with his. i hope that his soul is at peace. i hope that the people he's left behind are able to eventually focus on the happiness he added to their lives. my heart aches, but i am eternally grateful for having the chance to have known him. rest in peace, steve. to say you will be missed is an understatement, but i know that your love and light will live on in the hearts of the people who were fortunate enough to have known you.
love and light and music that speaks to the soul.
i cannot imagine the pain that his fiancee and family are coping with right now. and it felt selfish to post too much about my own feelings online, because i was not as close with him as other people were. but to deal with my own grief, i've been sifting through memories of the times i got to share in his presence. i remember once i had asked him about getting a degree in voice. i was considering going back to school for a master's, and thought maybe i should pursue that passion. he told me that i didn't need training, because my raw talent would only be impeded by training. that was such a compliment to me, since i considered his talent so superior to my own.
alicia tagged me in a comment beneath a video of one of steve's performances at the brewery. she said if i hadn't watched it to make sure i watched the whole thing. the video featured steve, chris brown, rob, and a couple other musicians doing the stones' "you can't always get what you want." they had the slippery rock choir do the opening bit, then steve's soulful voice more than did justice to mick jagger. at the very end of the video, steve thanked me. i had done a couple songs while he took a short break. he joked that he had to use the choir because he was scared to death to follow me. again--his compliment simply felt too great. i was humbled by his abilities, and simply grateful that he'd asked me to participate at all!
i texted rob a bit ago to say that i'd be interested in doing a memorial gig in steve's honor. to my surprise, there was already such an event planned for tomorrow, from 1-5 at the brewery, where so many people had the chance to experience steve's amazing presence. i have to work at 2:15, but am planning to go at 1 so that i can be with others who are dealing with the sense of loss. when jake called to tell me yesterday that steve had died, i didn't know how to respond. there's this numbness that kicks in sometimes when i hear of someone's passing as if my brain can't initially process what has happened. it was today, as i made my coffee and looked on facebook at the numerous posts about steve that the tears came. i had to stop what i was doing and just let them out. last night, as i was falling asleep, i thought about steve's soul making rounds to visit the friends and loved ones he'd be leaving behind. tina had jumped off the couch, and i wanted her to come back, so i started singing "dream a little dream of me" like i usually do when i am trying to lure her to me. she didn't come because she was preoccupied with a mouse sneaking around under my desk, so i ended up making it the whole way through the song. with my eyes closed, lying in the darkness of my living room, i hoped that steve had heard the song and knew that i was thinking of him. knew how much he would be missed. knew what an impact he'd had on all the lives he had touched.
when someone leaves us too soon, it's hard to say goodbye. the person is gone, their soul at peace, free of the burdens of life. but steve was engaged to be married. he was just beginning yet another new chapter in his life. so again, i cannot imagine the depth of grief the people who were closest to him are experiencing.
i hope that some day i have developed the ability to do with my voice what steve did with his. i hope that his soul is at peace. i hope that the people he's left behind are able to eventually focus on the happiness he added to their lives. my heart aches, but i am eternally grateful for having the chance to have known him. rest in peace, steve. to say you will be missed is an understatement, but i know that your love and light will live on in the hearts of the people who were fortunate enough to have known you.
love and light and music that speaks to the soul.
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