deconstructing motivational wisdom

sept. 5, 2019

that one post about how with the energy directed toward social media, you could be toning your body and eating better.

the video with the tagline that reads your life is not about you.

the one about how miserable people just want to make others miserable.

i read these things and i can't help feel angry at the inherent assumptions. In the post about how you could be using your energy to do other things, it is seems that people should be choosing one thing over the other. It's imposing a hierarchy of importance that is actually subjective. Even though there are things that we agree on collectively as truths, facts, empirically proven evidence, there is a claim that it is more valuable to dedicate time to exercise and food. While I agree that these things are part of living healthily, I still think it is up to the individual to the side for him or herself how to devote their energy. When it comes down to it your truth is your truth and my truth is my truth, and we have to respect the decisions people make about their own lives specifically when it does not interfere with ours at all.

In the post that claims that your life is not about you there's an extensive explanation as to what the person means and how he came to this conclusion. And it's a man who speaking to a room full of middle schoolers. And I think that part of the point that he is making is that we have to work together and help one another. But again, the way that this idea is simplified into saying that your life is not about you is misleading. And I don't think people think about how someone who struggles with feeling any kind of motivation or who's someone who struggles with extreme anxiety has difficulty as it is believing that their existence has worth. One of the things that we do in therapy his work on people's sense of self-worth, and the ultimate goal with that is to Foster something that becomes intrinsic, internal, or internally motivated. Meaning it isn't his valuable if that sense of self-worth comes from something external. I think that most people want to feel a part of something bigger. But to deny the individuals sense of worse accomplishment belonging acceptance, deprives the individual that sense of self-efficacy that is necessary to navigate this world.

The last one again just sort of bothers me in terms of people's understanding of other people. Because according to my understanding somebody who is miserable is either a a toxic person who requires a lot of healing to be less toxic or be a person who has given up and take some sort of joy and making other people miserable or see is a person that doesn't understand that the way they interact with other people makes them feel badly. Either way it seems awfully judgmental. Only slightly off topic is the idea that depressed people do need some compassion. While it's the individual's job to initiate any change within themselves that allows them to exist more contentedly in the world, again we can't force that person to change, and then shunning them really only reinforces the reasons for their misery or cynicism or bitterness. We perpetuate their justification for their perception. Through a radical acceptance that includes extending our love to that person, we provide an exception to the rule that they think governs the world. This makes the idea of difference of change being possible.