Grief and the loss of lives we never lived
(sometime prior to September 26, 2020) As I stood outside smoking a cigarette, standing under the eve of the apartment as it rained, I thought of my friend Gina, and the battle she lost with her addiction. I thought of one time when she came out to the Gibsons', and flirted with joe, not realizing until I mentioned about his wife that he was married, and that Betsy was just asleep for the night. how she came home with me one time, but how having sex felt like her playing out a kind of obligation she had played out so many times before, and it made me sad. it was some time later when she communicated to me that it wasn't fair to me to remain friends. that she knew she would continuously hurt me, because she had resigned to the addiction, and had no intention of changing. I mourned the loss of her in my life long before her body finally gave out. she seemed to rely on a man taking care of her, often one who sold drugs himself, obviously guaranteeing that she would never have to ...
