Do you see getting older as a blessing or a curse?

July 17, 2023

Like most either/or questions, this one is hard for me to provide a simple answer to, but I know that's the point. There are wonderful things and not-so-wonderful things about getting older. Overall, I do think it's a blessing. Not everyone makes it longer. Children die. Babies die. I do believe that every day we're breathing on our own is a gift. And I do believe that we can make the most of each moment if we support that intention. And I do believe that the point of life is not just to be in some euphoric, happy state all the time. 

Getting older is a privilege. And I try not to take it for granted. 

The difficult thing about getting older is just having to experience more and more death, and ultimately your own. But I'm not afraid of dying at all. I'm fascinated by what comes after--and eternal peace or heaven or another lifetime or being reincarnated--it all sounds amazing and also like things our human minds come up with because it's scary not knowing anything in life or death. 

My body feels older. It doesn't bend quite the way it used to, though I am still quite flexible. It doesn't walk the way it used to, though I still enjoy strolling through the trees, and matching pace with the person I'm walking with, or listening to the gentle thuds of my own footsteps against the firm earth, pushing back at me. Grounding through the rhythm of my own steps. 

There are more health concerns as you age, because your body is deteriorating, and no longer in prime shape. And biologically, the only purpose these bodies serve is to procreate and keep the species going. But I've chosen not to procreate, and rather to indulge in a variety of hedonistic curiosities. 

There is more illness with age, and how healthy we are depends only in part on how careful we are with our bodies. Genetics plays a huge role. Some of the healthiest people I know have suffered illnesses they did their best to avoid. Healthy people die young too. Cancer is a motherfucker. And I have sure tempted fate, and it's true that the life's worth of choices I've made have also contributed to my health status now. I accept responsibility for that. 

But I like that with getting older I give less fucks about what others think. I feel more comfortable in my body--it's been amazing to me. I still enjoy it. My soft skin. My belly, my bum, my chubby arms. My beautiful green eyes. My wild, thick hair. The muscles working in my core and every time I perform tasks. My digestive system, taking what my body doesn't need and filtering it out from what it does. 

I really try to love myself every day, no matter what other voices in my head might be reminding me. Because this is the only body I've got, and it's been really wonderful to me. I'm thankful. I'm thankful for the ways it has allowed me to move across this earth. I'm thankful for the strength it has. I don't need to change a thing about it to love it completely.

And it can be challenging to keep embracing myself, because I am aging. My body is still changing. Very literally and also in those ways that Hollywood would have us feel shame about. Lines, stretch-marks, wrinkles, saggy boobs and chins. Gravity does its work over time for us, as our bodies move slowly toward their end. There is only so much energy we have to expel over time. 

Getting older is a blessing. A curse because it's likely just as we begin to really enjoy ourselves, death arrives to reclaim us. 

So again, I've got to enjoy it while I can. But remember to rest as well between every adventure.