familiar to the touch

from sometime last summer (2011)

I just want somebody who can hold my body and make it feel like it was meant to be.  for a kiss to be bliss and for him to miss me when I’m not around. 

but that’s the lament of another girl

and I don’t want to be her

and keeping my distance

and going after the inaccessible

makes it easy to control my heart.

last night was…ahhhh.  just good.

because I knew how he would feel

and how he would enjoy the moment

and appreciate the therapy of it all.

he said, “that’s good for the soul.” 

I said, “it only is with certain people…it always is with you.”

and it was a moment that solidified the moment for me.

I thought of all the times he and I had…

and how they had occurred at different points in our lives

when we were pursuing different things—

working in such different directions and yet

fundamentally similar

and capable of engaging in such a mutually passionate

intimate moment.

and appreciating it for what it was

which is something beautiful

and stress-relieving

and pleasurable

and distracting

and

ahhhhhhhhh.

it doesn’t matter that I didn’t get off

and that’s hard for men to understand

(and they bring it up a lot)

there is a release in the act. 

going through the motions
that transpire according to the desires of each person

literally cooperating for that peak.

but for me it happens every instant of the instance.

every touch, every taste, every sound and smell

every breath, every moan, every fingernail against skin

every lick, every nibble, every teeth pulling a lip or earlobe,

traveling over the landscape of the human body

is never disappointing in and of itself

but there is so much more that is there

when there is a genuine connection.

add to that the years and experiences that have shaped

two people as individuals, and you have a meeting

of the minds and bodies and souls.

a beautiful moment.  a fleeting escape

and return.