it makes me wonder what i've learned from all my lovers

I was thinking I’d like to create a scale of compatibility that explains what it is I care about, what it is that makes someone appeal to me.  I reject the notion that I would be satisfied with a person who contained only 25% of the characteristics I consider important.

1.  Conversation—the easier it is to talk about anything with someone, the better.  Prerequisites for stimulating conversation include a level of conscious intelligence, nerdiness, and sense of humor.   

2.  Attraction—the stronger the better.  If we often can’t wait to get our hands on one another, awesome.           

3.  Attitude—I’m an optimistic cynic; I recognize the absurdity and imperfections of my life and the world around me, but I find beauty in all of it and still feel compassionate enough to be a light in the world.  

4.  Maturity—I think I’m done dating people who don’t have jobs and cars.  I’m not one to tout the importance of a career, but financial stability is a bonus.  If someone is beyond his twenties, I’d be turned off by a total lack of direction and income.  Likewise, a guy who enjoys monogamy and has spent enough time sowing his wild oats to focus on my company is a must if I’m gonna stick around long enough for anything to be considered a “relationship.”           

5.  Independence—if a guy has been doing it on his own for some time but still has a good relationship with his family or the people he considers his family.  Someone who isn’t looking to be taken care of, but for true companionship.  Someone, also, who isn’t looking to be defined by his relationship to me, though can feel as though I add something irreplaceable to his life.  An independent thinker also fits into this criteria.           

6.  Creativity—a man who can express himself using words and other mediums is sexy.  If he is crafty, handy, likes to dance, and can appreciate/enjoy the art I create, then that’s fantastic. 

7.  Compatibility—if it’s someone easy to be around, who doesn’t live in filth, who is considerate both of the need for snuggle time and alone time (for both of us), who doesn’t expect me to do his laundry, but is gracious when I do, and who will likewise ask me if I need anything from the store while he’s out—perfect.  This category also includes sexual compatibility, which enhances the chances of a relationship lasting and continuing to be enjoyable.  I’m in my sexual prime right now, so a strong libido is a plus, though someone oversexed is probably too much for me to handle.

8.  Animal lover—anyone who loves animals and treats them with affection and care is kindhearted.  A cat person is an extra bonus.  A dog person is tolerable as long as he doesn’t expect me to love his dog as much as he does.  A vegetarian is also a bonus, though an omnivore is fine as long as he doesn’t expect me to cook his meat.

9.  Communicative—actions might speak louder than words, but it’s still important to be able to effectively (not condescendingly or passively) talk to someone, both about small and big things that could affect the course of a relationship.      

10.  Unconventionality—someone who questions traditions and tends to adopt beliefs or views based on his own careful understanding, who has formulated a worldview that is not limited to his backyard, who is not just looking for a wife and kids but for an adventure and partner in life nonetheless is well-suited for me, considering I am nowhere near the common examples of “settling down.”     

That works for now.

Those are not in order of importance--it would be harder to arrange them that way...